Being in a relationship is hard work. Sometimes, you just figure out being single is less tiresome, but trust me, every coin has two sides, just as a relationship, it always has the pros and cons. Phew, but don’t worry sisters, I’ve got you covered. Here are some of the most common myths about relationships, why it’s totally just a MYTH and most importantly, what can you do to make it better. After all, you do not want to date an onion or be one, so say goodbye to them tears!
MYTH 1: A good relationship does not need work/effort
Now, this is my favourite relationship myth, ladies. Sure, we all like to think of being gifted with loving another person as a stroke of luck, or meant to be, “destiny”– but what we don’t pay attention to is that it requires continuous efforts from both sides of the table. It is vital to realise that a relationship is like a boat, it needs a good captain to steer it clear from icebergs and oncoming dolphins. (Pretty sure dolphins steers clear of boats, though!)
To debunk this, let’s have RMS Titanic Class 101. Why did the ship that was “built to last” sink so tragically in the murky dark depths of the freezing Atlantic waters? Simple, early detection of icebergs was not counted for. The RMS Titanic was just not built to withstand the devastating impact on collision with icebergs. It just wasn’t planned. Sure, they could have used stronger rivets or a thicker hull to keep the ship afloat longer, but nobody thought it would sink. It was one of the biggest mysteries that plagued not just scientists and ship experts but even after 106 years, it still baffles people. Why wasn’t the ship built on higher-quality materials? Was it the angle at which the iceberg hit? Was it a cover-up by shipbuilders Harland &Wolff? No matter what the reasons were, thousands of lives were–lost. Same goes for relationships, we need to put in the work for the relationship to survive in testing waters. After all, what’s a good relationship if every step of the way was just roses and daisies?
MYTH 2: Cheating is the biggest sin there is in a relationship
Sure, there is no contest to this statement–you really suck if you cheated in a relationship before. But in my personal view, I think the failure to give respect and trust is the bigger omen in this Sophie’s choice. Essentially, both are no-win situations and when a partner (you or your S.O) fail to understand that relationships are truly built on trust and fundamental respect, that’s when things go downhill. As the anecdote goes,” You can have a relationship without truelove, but you can’t build a relationship without respect.” Love is beautiful, indefinitely but respect and trust have been proven to last relationships through rocky times. Respecting your S.O. feelings, thoughts and heart would definitely stop you from even contemplating flirting with another person. Trusting that honesty is a two-way communication is also vital in this case. Give trust and respect your S.O in more ways than one and trust me– you can definitely expect to get it back from them, which leads me to the next myth to debunk.
MYTH 3: Once a cheater, always a cheater
Thanking my lucky stars, I have never been with a partner who cheated on me. I’m not quite sure how I would have reacted to the whole fiasco, but I do know one thing, that second chances although rare– is necessary. Just as how inmates change their dangerous attitudes and beliefs upon serving time in prison, a cheater does not guarantee cheating in the future. One can assume that cheating will always be on the cards, but in truth, I view cheating as an act of rebellion, an act of desperation, for example; if a person feels like their feelings are not validated or appreciated by their S.O they act out of the need to validate that they matter, that their feelings should be reciprocated. Some cheat out of boredom and are the most unpredictable kinds as there is no ulterior motive behind this despicable act. More often than not, if we do feel like cheating, there is always something motivating us to do so, we feel neglected by our S.O or maybe they just don’t give us the attention we so desperately crave for. But we also need to understand that if a someone cheats, what is it that they wanted? What are the underlying causes behind cheating? Could we have given it to them? Once we got that figured, we can move on to the next step which is figuring out if the relationship is worth fighting for, whether the partner is deeply remorseful about the whole situation or whether we should just leave it be and dissolve the relationship. Sometimes it is BETTER to leave a relationship that has too much toxicity and negativity rather than to keep holding on to it. Not many girls and boys out there understand this fact. You can’t hold a person down who simply wants to fly.
MYTH 4: For a relationship to work, we need to have XYZ amount of sex
Sexual intimacy is great for a relationship to thrive; however, it is not a necessity. There are plenty of relationships out there that last longer, and both partners are extremely blissful even without the process of copulation or sexual validation. Sure, sex gives us a variety of emotions–and together with the person you love, it can further solidify the bond between partners. What’s totally wrong about this myth here is that you DO NOT need to have a certain amount of sex to prosper in your relationship. Learn to love one another’s soul instead of their bodies. It is vital here that us as ladies should understand that our voices matter in a relationship and that we do not need to give up something we cherish and value just for the sake of satisfying another’s pleasure. We deserve more. We deserve better and we deserve the pleasure we give others, too. And the important takeaway here is that, only when you are ready and aware of both consequences (be it positive and negative), only then you should take this step. Nobody should force you into this, and you must be aware of your rights. You, my dear readers, are strong just as you are.
Relationships are beautiful and we should learn to put aside our differences as individuals and start coming together as pairs, conquering challenges together. The keyword here remains – Together. When you are in a relationship, sacrifices must be made, and often times, we see great relationships (or so we assume) die like it meant and is worth nothing, and those serve as great lessons to us.